Bierce, Ambrose
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Age that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Bore. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
- Bierce, Ambrose
Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves - making in all two.
- Bierce, Ambrose

